Get Real—Dealing with Real ID
So I didn't get my Real ID in time. And yet they let me fly. How?
As it states in my bio and tag lines, I’m your Type B friend. What does this mean? Think about your Type A friends: they’re prompt in everything they do, rarely disheveled, and nothing they own has expired.
Basically, I’m the opposite of that. The sum of my ability to be on time is reserved for flights, with occasional failures. My bra strap regularly pulls my hair, there’s probably lipstick on my teeth, and if you look in my wallet (easy because I probably forgot to put it back in my purse) you’ll find expired credit cards and loyalty cards for coffeehouses that didn’t survive Covid.
Yes, I tend toward being a hot mess, but I’m also fiercely independent so it doesn’t become a problem for others. Usually. But recently it became a big problem for me.
On May 7, 2025, Real ID or a passport became the key to clearing TSA in airports and gaining entrance to federal buildings. I won’t get into the hows and whys because I don’t care. What I do care about: around April 20th I realized I was flying to Los Angeles on May 18th. Surely a month was enough time to get my shit in order.
No sir, it was not enough time.
Just use my passport? What are the chances that my passport hasn’t expired? Please.
But damn, I tried. From the list of required paperwork, I had my current driver’s license, my birth certificate, an Explanation of Benefits from my health insurance company, 401K paperwork, a lock of CJ’s hair, a W2 from 2018, some clipped toenails, and the lot number from my favorite lipstick.
Unfortunately, none of these contained the magic number: my Social Security number.
What? Do you honestly think the little piece of paper issued to me in 1972 is still in existence? Please. Some kur in West Virginia or Idaho used that to steal my identity decades ago!
So, I had to apply for a new card, which took close to three weeks to arrive, meaning no time to get my Real ID before my flight.
The good news: while it hasn’t been loudly publicized, there is a grace period for flyers who didn’t get their shit in order by May 7th. The bad news: no one seems to know when it ends. It could be over now, for all I know. If you’re in this predicament, call your airline. Enjoy the lecture.
I brought a manilla envelope with all my Real ID papers except my Social Security card, just in case that might speed things along. It didn’t. And then I had to worry the whole trip about having all the papers that prove I exist stuffed in a carry-on bag. So leave that at home.
Instead, I spent some extra time at TSA. They searched my carry-on and my computer bag, gave me a pat-down, and sent me on my way to the gate with time to spare (since I did show up early and was flying out at 5 fucking a.m.).
I planned to take care of Real ID mess as soon as I got home since my Social Security card arrived the day after I left. Except …
As I was checking my bags at the Burbank airport (two, so getting that baggage search at TSA would be faster), I reached into my wallet to get non-Real ID and discovered I had no ID, Real or otherwise. I have no idea what happened, but my driver’s license wasn’t in my wallet. I tore apart my purse and carry-on. Nothing. I must have accidentally packed it (I hadn’t. Never did find it.).
So now I’m traveling with no ID. Which, if that’s how I wind up living in L.A., fine. Far be it for me to argue with the universe and her whims.
What happens when you show up at TSA with no ID? It’s not nearly as brutal as you’d think. Time consuming? Yes. If you’re on a tight schedule this will screw you up. Although Burbank, unlike St. Louis, had a special line for travelers without Real ID. They had to make a new line for the ID-free dumbass.
The worst part was waiting for a TSA employee who had the clearance to deal with me. It took a bit. The rest was easy. He made a call (to whom? No idea. Could be his dog- and goat-murdering head boss. Could be the pilot. Could be my mom.) Then he asked me for the full name and birthdate of someone in my family and the same for someone over 18 in my household. From there it was on to another agent digging through my bags and getting a feel of my sweaty underboob, then on to my gate, super happy they didn’t confiscate the half jambon beurre in my computer bag.
My replacement driver’s license arrived last week and today I have an appointment to get my Real ID. Despite the deadline being over, it seems DMVs are still swamped, with many of them requiring appointments. In my case, I had to make an appointment a few towns over, but that’s fine. I don’t anticipate any issues*. I had an appointment pre-L.A. trip where I was able to have the paperwork I had checked. Should anything noteworthy happen, I’ll update. Otherwise, see ya at the airport on August 25th when I fly to Oakland, CA!
*There were issues. I left my manila envelope with all my paperwork on my desk. Better luck when I try again a week from Monday.